Canoeing or Couples Therapy??

One of the highlights of my summer is our annual canoe trip with the youth group. Each year I look forward to all the memories that are made while swimming, camping, playing the "song game" around the campfire, visiting Ally Springs and having Sunday morning church in the midst of God's creation. This year I was looking forward to much of the same especially canoeing with my man! You know...my husband and life partner.....

Jason and I have been canoe partners for the past few years and we did pretty well. Last year we only tipped once....and it was the very last turn of the 6 mile journey. So, I was anticipating much of the same this year....a nice relaxing float down the cool, clear river.....I was mistaken!!

So, we get to the river and choose our canoe. We (Jason) opted for an aluminum one. It was like sitting on a balance beam!! You had to sit perfectly dead center with perfect posture or it would tip to either side. Then we also agreed to pull one of our students on a tube tied to the back of our canoe....so we had some extra weight we were pulling.

As we were approaching the first bend in the river I was still trying to adjust and sit center in the canoe and was SO not ready to start paddling. Jason is in the back of the canoe yelling "Right! Right! Paddle on your right!!" I didn't react quick enough and we ended up running into the fallen tree that was in the water I panicked and leaned one way, Jason leaned the other and we both ended up in the river!!

Now we were already wet and I was frustrated. I was not sure which side to paddle on and was upset that Jason had yelled at me and was irritated already at me. We had barely started and I felt we had already failed.

We get back in the canoe and start down the river again. As we were trying to pick up speed to get through a low spot in the river we ran out of slack in the rope in back and almost pulled to a stop and we were---stuck, bottomed out-- on the rocks in the bottom of the river. We had not even made it through the first two turns of our journey and it seemed we were out of our canoe more than we were in it.

At one point the water ahead looked tricky and I was so frustrated trying to figure out what side of the canoe to paddle on I just jumped out of the canoe before we even had the chance to flip! I didn't want to flip again! Then, instead of getting back in the canoe I decided I would rather walk in the river than try to paddle through the obstacles.

So Jason is in the back of the canoe paddling with the nose of the canoe up in the air due to the imbalance while pulling the tuber on the back. The whole time he is saying, "Get back in the canoe!" There were people hanging out along the banks of the river watching us. One guy looked and me and said, "Did you loose your boat? You would rather walk than ride in the boat??" Another lady said, "What's the matter? You don't trust him?"

I did get back into the canoe and we joined the rest of our group at the spot we always stop to play and swim. As I sat along the water asking myself what was the matter with me I realized two things: 1. I did not really trust Jason to get us through the difficult stuff. Not that he couldn't get us through it but, He was not communicating clearly with me how we were going to get through it. and 2. I did not like feeling out of control when we tipped. I liked being in the cool refreshing water. I just wanted to be the one to make the choice to get in. Not fall in out of control.

We spent the next few miles of our journey fumbling through. Trying to maneuver around the groups of partying tubers and the fallen trees. At one point Jason looked at me and said, "Cheri, this is like marriage! You cannot bail on me and jump out of the canoe. There is no back door! Stay in this with me!"

We asked our tag along tuber to join another canoe to lighten our load a bit. After dropping the extra weight, and  I learned not to panic, and Jason started communicating clearly with me about what we needed to do to conquer the upcoming obstacles we made a great team! I began to trust him fully.

Through our entire adventure I could not help but think how right Jason was. Being canoe partners was just like marriage. It takes team work, trust and communication. We had to work in sync together to survive the obstacles. I had to trust that Jason had our best interest in mind. He had to clearly communicate with me what to do and how to do it. If he didn't communicate and I didn't trust him we just ended up working against each other.

In our journey of marriage we will always face obstacles and uncertain times. Sometimes we have to get rid of things that may be weighing us down. But, if we communicate and trust one another we can make it through anything!!

Oh yeah, and I prayed ALOT that day! Prayer is another key part of a successful marriage!!

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and  they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together let man not separate." Matthew 19:6