Happiness comes from a change in Perspective.....

As sure as the sun is going to rise each day....each August the kids go back to school. Which means school supply shopping. I remember as a kid I loved getting new school supplies. It was one of the few times of year that I actually got NEW things! So, each year I try to make sort of a family event out of it. But, as we get more kids in school it gets a little more overwhelming.

I am a procrastinator. Not because I just make a choice to push it off to later, but because I have so much going on that I am always dealing with the emergent. Last week school shopping became the emergent. Monday was my only day off before school started so, I loaded all 4 kids up and headed to the store with our lists of school supplies and groceries. Two carts and two hours later our mission was accomplished with little difficulties. Now all I had to do was get it labeled and in their bags.

When we got home Monday evening I labeled all their things, and loaded their book bags. Only one thing was missing in their bags.....their pencils. The school lists asked for a combined total of 68 sharpened pencils. As I mentioned before I am a procrastinator. Last year I waited til the night before school started to sharpen all their pencils. I was up late and ended up overheating our electric pencil sharpener. This year I decided I was not going to do that. I put the very first of the 68 pencils in the electric sharpener and nothing happened....I mean nothing! It made a noise but, was definitely NOT sharpening. So, I decided to try my eyeliner sharpener. Six pencils later I decided I was going to end up with carpel tunnel in my wrist.

Tuesday I worked a 9 hour day at work. When I got home I needed to do laundry, fix supper, feed the kids, bathe them, get their school clothes ironed, pack their lunches, tuck the kids into bed and sharpened 62 pencils! My husband had an evening meeting so I was on my own for the night. On top of  all the preparation for school we are also in the process of moving Josh into his own room and I was going to be out of town for the weekend so I need to clean off/out my desk in the laundry room. By the time 8:30pm rolled around most of my to do list had been checked off (except the sharpening of the pencils) and I was at the end of my rope. The kids were coming up with many excuses not to go to bed and my patience were wearing thin. I kept thinking of the 62 pencils I still needed to sharpen.

Hunter had come down stairs for the second time after being tucked in. I said "What are you doing up? I need you to go to bed so I can finish what I need to so I can go to bed." He replied, "I wanted to help you. I can sharpen the pencils." Then he said 7 little words that have haunted me all week....."I just want you to be happy." Do my kids not see me happy? I am happy, aren't I? My little guy was willing to what he could to make me "happy."

This past weekend I went with a group of ladies to Women of Faith conference in Indianapolis. One of the first sessions Dr. Henry Cloud was talking about living a happy life. He said that research has shown that circumstances only account for 10% of happiness. He began to talk about perspective.....perspective....there is that word again.....My husband just preached a message the previous Sunday on perspective. My thought was "Wow, someone in our group must need to hear about perspective. It just keeps coming up." As the weekend went on the speakers were talking about our worth coming from Christ and how valuable we are to Him. The last session Lucy Swindol spoke about enjoying life. She said, "Live Now, Love Now, Give Now!" God began to speak to my heart.

It was MY perspective that needed to change. I realized how much of my life I spend on things that don't matter in the end. I tirelessly work on keeping a clean and orderly home. Some days I feel like I am going to evolve into an ape from walking around bent over with my knuckles dragging the ground constantly picking toys and things up off the floor. I realized that I attach much of my self worth to the condition of my home. I think so often, "If I could just get the house clean..." Then, on the rare days that I do get it clean, it only lasts a few hours and I am frustrated that it is messed up again. 

Not only does my perspective about my self worth need to change but, I also realized this weekend that I compartmentalize my life.....or my kids. I always plan to accomplish X,Y, and Z on my to do list and THEN I will hang out with the kids. Often times they ask if they can help with whatever I am doing. Most of the time I send them off and say, "Mommy will hang out with you when I get this done." Truth is my to do list never ends. Instead I should include them in all that I am doing around the house, teach them how to do it and enjoy that time with them. More of my focus needs to be on the legacy I am leaving in my children.....not in my house. I don't want my headstone to read "She kept a clean home."

I am working on adjusting my perspective to who I am in Christ and not on my worth based on the state of my home. And begin to remember to include my kids in all aspects of my daily life. Enjoy life with them even if my house is not clean.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18