When I started this blog my intention was to focus on the lessons I have and am learning in my journey of motherhood. One dimension of my life I planned not to blog about was being a Pastor's wife....but, today that is what is on my heart to share about.....
I grew up in a pastor's home. My dad resigned when I was 15 and it turned the world I knew upside down. There were piles of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness filling my heart. By the time I was a Sr in high school I was done with "the Church" not God, just "the Church" (and its people). I met my husband in February 1998 just before graduation. If someone would have told me then that he was going to be a pastor, I would have run the other way and never looked back!!! Believe me, no one else in our lives would have believed it either. Our lives were headed in the complete opposite direction of church, and the last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near someone in ministry!! I often joke that God "tricked me"!
That fall we were both at school at SIUE and became very involved in a campus ministry. For the first time in my life my faith had become my own. As my heart began to change it was then when God laid on my heart that Jason would someday be in ministry. As years passed we married and had our first child. Jason began to talk about moving away to go to seminary. Our families lived in the same town and I had dreams of my kids graduating in blue and white!! My response to him was, "you can go to seminary; Josh and I are staying here!" Then, two years later Jason answered a newspaper add in the local paper and our life in ministry began!
It has been seven years since he answered that newspaper add. So, much has happened in that time. We moved away from our home town. Jason finished his Masters degree in seminary and was ordained in January. God completely healed my wounded heart and has given me a vision for ministry also.
But, the one thing that hasn't changed is the struggle in my heart to have "roots". When we moved here the one thing I kept saying was, "I am asking God for permanency", I want grow old in the house my kids grew up in!! But, the reality of a life in ministry is that sometimes it does require moving and if I keep holding on to "roots" I am not fully trusting God! I know in my heart that what He has planned is always far better than I could ever imagine!! And yet I still want to hold on to "roots".
Today on facebook a friend posted a link to http://utmost.org/gracious-uncertainty/. It is a devotional by Oswald Chambers. As I read it, it hit me exactly in my struggle. It said, "The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots." Wow! I felt like it was written just for me! The whole thing is that we can never be certain of anything except God and have faith in Him, not what we can see. This devotional was not written to "pastor's wives" but to all Christians. We all must put our hope and faith in nothing but HIM!
One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:34 "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I don't know what tomorrow holds for my family and I. I need to quit worrying about what 10 years down the road looks like for us and focus on what God has given me today! His plans are better than our plans and His ways better than our ways!
I have often heard a quote "the only thing certain in life is death and taxes". I would change that to "death, taxes, and God's amazing love!"
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hunter.....
One of my favorite days of the week is Friday. Not just because it is the beginning of my weekend but, because I have the privilege of volunteering in Hunter's kindergarten class for centers. I love walking in his classroom and his face lights up and he runs over to give me a big hug! I enjoy getting to know the other kids in his class. A couple of weeks ago one of the little boys asked, "Mrs Chewi, can you peel my cwayon fow me? You have weally shawp nails?" I smile and was glad to help! As he went back to his table I heard him say, "Mrs Chewi peeled my cwayon naked!"
About a month ago while I was there for centers Hunter's teacher informed me of a PST meeting they had scheduled. She said, "It is a Problem Solving Meeting just to get together and talk about Hunter. I am not sure he is ready for 1st grade." I was ALL to aware of PST meetings. I told her this would be my 2nd one this year! Before this year I had never heard of a PST meeting!! His teacher has been very good communicating with me this year in regards to Hunter's progress so this was not a total surprise. When I told her they were doing a full case study on Josh for a learning disability, she said she thought Hunter too could have one but it was too early to know for sure.
I have to say it is really hard to sit at a table full of education professionals and hear them say things like "your child is below average" "he has difficulty with attention" "he is testing at the bottom of the class". At the same time they also say things like, "he is a delightful little boy" But somehow all the praise in the world doesn't take away the sting of the "concerns". As I had mentioned in my blog "The Trap" I was guilty of comparing Hunter to the other kids in the class and was shocked to here he was at the bottom!!
I have always called Hunter "my cuddlebug"! He loves to snuggle up and watch a movie or read a book together. He has a dry wit about him and is the most quiet and laid back of all four of my kids. Sometimes my heart just melts for him because he is number 3 of 4 I feel like he gets lost in the mix. His favorite thing to do for family time is to go to the Douglas Hart Nature Center and feed the fish at the pond. Hunter is always willing to help and give to his little brother Jake! And he is still my cuddlebug!
At the PST meeting we decided to wait until August to decide for sure if we should retain him in kindergarten or not. It is completely up to Jason and I. We are praying for God's direction. As we left the meeting, in my heart I felt that the only reason we wouldn't retain him would be due to my own pride and denial. I know there are many benefits to retention in kindergarten. When I asked Hunter about how he felt about staying in kindergarten, I explained that he could be a big help to his teacher cause he would know all the rules and know where everything is. He said, "OK I will stay in kindergarten." I am so thankful God made him so laid back and go with the flow!
God has also blessed us abundantly with resources to help both of our boys this summer. We have a friend from church who has offered to tutor both boys over the summer and, we have all three older kids signed up for a special reading program at EIU for the entire month of July!!
I know we are not alone in this! I can see God's hand a blessing at every turn. He is in control!!
P. S.
Our evaluation meeting for Joshua is May 2nd. We will have the results of Josh's full case study that day. I am getting nervous as the day approaches. Please be in prayer for us!
About a month ago while I was there for centers Hunter's teacher informed me of a PST meeting they had scheduled. She said, "It is a Problem Solving Meeting just to get together and talk about Hunter. I am not sure he is ready for 1st grade." I was ALL to aware of PST meetings. I told her this would be my 2nd one this year! Before this year I had never heard of a PST meeting!! His teacher has been very good communicating with me this year in regards to Hunter's progress so this was not a total surprise. When I told her they were doing a full case study on Josh for a learning disability, she said she thought Hunter too could have one but it was too early to know for sure.
I have to say it is really hard to sit at a table full of education professionals and hear them say things like "your child is below average" "he has difficulty with attention" "he is testing at the bottom of the class". At the same time they also say things like, "he is a delightful little boy" But somehow all the praise in the world doesn't take away the sting of the "concerns". As I had mentioned in my blog "The Trap" I was guilty of comparing Hunter to the other kids in the class and was shocked to here he was at the bottom!!
I have always called Hunter "my cuddlebug"! He loves to snuggle up and watch a movie or read a book together. He has a dry wit about him and is the most quiet and laid back of all four of my kids. Sometimes my heart just melts for him because he is number 3 of 4 I feel like he gets lost in the mix. His favorite thing to do for family time is to go to the Douglas Hart Nature Center and feed the fish at the pond. Hunter is always willing to help and give to his little brother Jake! And he is still my cuddlebug!
At the PST meeting we decided to wait until August to decide for sure if we should retain him in kindergarten or not. It is completely up to Jason and I. We are praying for God's direction. As we left the meeting, in my heart I felt that the only reason we wouldn't retain him would be due to my own pride and denial. I know there are many benefits to retention in kindergarten. When I asked Hunter about how he felt about staying in kindergarten, I explained that he could be a big help to his teacher cause he would know all the rules and know where everything is. He said, "OK I will stay in kindergarten." I am so thankful God made him so laid back and go with the flow!
God has also blessed us abundantly with resources to help both of our boys this summer. We have a friend from church who has offered to tutor both boys over the summer and, we have all three older kids signed up for a special reading program at EIU for the entire month of July!!
I know we are not alone in this! I can see God's hand a blessing at every turn. He is in control!!
P. S.
Our evaluation meeting for Joshua is May 2nd. We will have the results of Josh's full case study that day. I am getting nervous as the day approaches. Please be in prayer for us!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Lengths Parents Go......
It is Easter! In our house that means ridiculous amounts of candy!! Each of our children get a total of 4 Easter baskets, and I have 4 children.....if you did the math....that's right 16 Easter baskets in all!! I told you...a ridiculous amount of candy!!
We were fortunate to spend part of the Easter weekend in our home town with family. But, that also meant that 12 of the 16 Easter baskets had to be transported on a three hour trip back home along with 4 kids, 2 dogs and their kennel, our suitcases, several purses and jewelry from my parent's salon (for an upcoming purse/jewelry party) and all four kids pillow pets and various toys....needless to say we were LOADED with hardly any room to breathe!
So, in an effort to save room I was attempting to consolidate the Easter basket contents and leave the baskets at my mom's house. I am hurriedly trying to pack things up so we can get on the road. As I am dumping the Easter grass, candy wrappers and half chewed on candy into the trash can I hear the unmistakable "jingle" of change hit the can. My heart sunk!
The night before the kids had hunted for eggs filled with quarters. At that exact moment I remembered one of the children had left their quarters in their basket. I stared into the half full can of garbage debating what to do....I KNEW they would ask where their quarters had gone...and I just couldn't tell them I had thrown them away! I knew what I had to do.....I began by gingerly pulling out that annoying, green Easter grass shaking it ever so slightly listening intently for that jingling of the quarters again.....then onto the large empty cereal box. I pulled it out shaking it hoping to hear the quarters in it. No such luck. Then on to the empty chip bag, I could hear the quarters, but I could not find them. Finally at the bottom of the can with all the chewed on jellybeans, some egg shells from colored eggs, coffee grounds and some bits of scrambled eggs I found all four quarters! I thought to myself, "It is amazing the lengths we go as parents for our kids!"
Then my next thought was, "What great lengths our Heavenly Father has gone for us!" Especially in this Easter season, remembering that our Father in Heaven gave His Son for death on the cross so that we may have a personal relationship with Him! How humbling! That far out weighs digging in the garbage for quarters!
"For God SO loved the world (us) that He gave His ONE and ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
We were fortunate to spend part of the Easter weekend in our home town with family. But, that also meant that 12 of the 16 Easter baskets had to be transported on a three hour trip back home along with 4 kids, 2 dogs and their kennel, our suitcases, several purses and jewelry from my parent's salon (for an upcoming purse/jewelry party) and all four kids pillow pets and various toys....needless to say we were LOADED with hardly any room to breathe!
So, in an effort to save room I was attempting to consolidate the Easter basket contents and leave the baskets at my mom's house. I am hurriedly trying to pack things up so we can get on the road. As I am dumping the Easter grass, candy wrappers and half chewed on candy into the trash can I hear the unmistakable "jingle" of change hit the can. My heart sunk!
The night before the kids had hunted for eggs filled with quarters. At that exact moment I remembered one of the children had left their quarters in their basket. I stared into the half full can of garbage debating what to do....I KNEW they would ask where their quarters had gone...and I just couldn't tell them I had thrown them away! I knew what I had to do.....I began by gingerly pulling out that annoying, green Easter grass shaking it ever so slightly listening intently for that jingling of the quarters again.....then onto the large empty cereal box. I pulled it out shaking it hoping to hear the quarters in it. No such luck. Then on to the empty chip bag, I could hear the quarters, but I could not find them. Finally at the bottom of the can with all the chewed on jellybeans, some egg shells from colored eggs, coffee grounds and some bits of scrambled eggs I found all four quarters! I thought to myself, "It is amazing the lengths we go as parents for our kids!"
Then my next thought was, "What great lengths our Heavenly Father has gone for us!" Especially in this Easter season, remembering that our Father in Heaven gave His Son for death on the cross so that we may have a personal relationship with Him! How humbling! That far out weighs digging in the garbage for quarters!
"For God SO loved the world (us) that He gave His ONE and ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Commercial of my Life....
Okay, I recently saw a commercial on TV that made me crack up!! It was like totally written from my life! It went like this: Two moms are sitting on a park bench, Mom #1 says, "My Ayden scored highest for talented and gifted!" Mom #2 says, "Oh yeah, I got underwear for my whole family for under $20 bucks at Burlington!"
If you have been following my blog you know that two of my children have been struggling academically this year. I am definitely not Mom #1 in this commercial. But, one of my last facebook posts was a picture of all the stuff I bought from CVS for $2.76. My latest passion has been couponing, ad matching and CVSing! I love to save money and I love to tell people about it!! I am always all about a good deal!! I have a personal motto, "Never pay full price for anything!"
The last line of the commercial is "Burlington (coat factory) will give you something to brag about." All week as I have laughed about this commercial and how perfectly it sums up my life right now, that last line has been making me think and examine if I am bragging about the right things. I then remembered a verse I read recently:
"If you are going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God." 1 Corin 2:31 (MSG)
If you have been following my blog you know that two of my children have been struggling academically this year. I am definitely not Mom #1 in this commercial. But, one of my last facebook posts was a picture of all the stuff I bought from CVS for $2.76. My latest passion has been couponing, ad matching and CVSing! I love to save money and I love to tell people about it!! I am always all about a good deal!! I have a personal motto, "Never pay full price for anything!"
The last line of the commercial is "Burlington (coat factory) will give you something to brag about." All week as I have laughed about this commercial and how perfectly it sums up my life right now, that last line has been making me think and examine if I am bragging about the right things. I then remembered a verse I read recently:
"If you are going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God." 1 Corin 2:31 (MSG)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Is that Really Possible??
On this beautiful spring day the kids were outside playing ball. Jake comes in with wide eyes and I said, "What are you up to?" Jake says, "I have to get on the roof!" He explained that his brother Joshua had hit a ball on the roof. I followed him outside to see where he was pointing. Sure enough on the ledge of the balcony outside the boys window was a bright red softball. Jake was very determined to get the ball down! He says, "I just have to wiggle it!" I said "Wiggle what??" He says,"The house! If I wiggle it, it will fall down!" He proceeds to the corner of the front porch and begins to push on the house. I could not help but laugh.
Meanwhile as Jake was "shaking" the house I ran upstairs to their room with a yard stick, reached though the window and pushed the ball down. When I came downstairs Jake was in the house with the ball in hand, smile as big as big as he is on his face, he points at me and says, "See I told you it was possible!!"
The word possible hit me between the eyes! He truly believed that it was possible. What would life would look like if I believed more things were possible. The Bible tells us we are to have childlike faith. Jake had just given me a true glimpse of what childlike faith look like.
"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27
Meanwhile as Jake was "shaking" the house I ran upstairs to their room with a yard stick, reached though the window and pushed the ball down. When I came downstairs Jake was in the house with the ball in hand, smile as big as big as he is on his face, he points at me and says, "See I told you it was possible!!"
The word possible hit me between the eyes! He truly believed that it was possible. What would life would look like if I believed more things were possible. The Bible tells us we are to have childlike faith. Jake had just given me a true glimpse of what childlike faith look like.
"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Baseball season has begun!!
Last night was the beginning of a very busy season of the year.....baseball season!! I love it!! When we first move here people told us this was "a baseball town". We had NO idea what we were getting into!
We were amazed by the facilities they have for little league....even T-ball. They have complete complexes for each league....t-ball, Jr baseball, Cal Ripken, and girl's softball. Then I think it is Legion...(not too sure about all the leagues yet) Each complex is complete with four fields equipped with score boards, bleachers, dugouts and indoor bathrooms (with running water!) A full concession stand and a press box! We had never seen anything like it for "Little League"!
Josh's first season, he was 7 and played coach pitch. The beginning of the season Jason and I just kind of sat back and watched all the other parents in amazement. It was pretty competitive for 7 year olds. We called our family back home and said "you would not believe this...they keep track of the score, outs, even have a list of official "coach pitch rules"! There is tournaments with brackets and everything!" I vowed not to be a "crazy" baseball parent.
By the end of the season, we (Josh's team) were down to the last 2 games of the tournament to win the City Championship for Coach Pitch. Josh made a huge catch in the outfield for a critical 3rd out!!! I am now a "crazy" baseball parent!!! And LOVE it!!
Last year he was our church sponsored team and his coach was a church member. They invited families from the church to come and watch the games. I always hoped that many didn't come because I didn't want them to see me at the games. I couldn't sit still and definitely was not quiet!!
This year Josh moved up to Kid Pitch and last night was his first practice on his new team. Last year he had several friends on his team. This year he really doesn't know too many of his team mates.
Last night Josh was in the shower, I was in the bathroom picking up the other kids clothes off the floor and he started sharing with me about practice. He said, "mom, do you think I am good at baseball?" I said, "yes, Daddy says you are really improving on throwing to the infield." Then he says, "Mom there are kids on the team that are REALLY good at baseball." I told him that God made each of us differently but we all have strengths, for some people sports are their strength, for others it may be reading. I told him that it was OK not to be the "best" at everything and he was good at things too. I told him that one of his strengths was people...He is very good at relationships and caring for others, reading others emotions and interacting. He has very good social skills.
He started thinking about that and carried it a step further....he began to look at all those around him and name their strengths. He said, "like this kid in my class, he is great with computers, and Sam and Ian are good at Yugioh cards, and London is good at being funny and making people laugh..."
I began to really think about what Josh started doing. Instead of comparing himself to those around him, he began to see them for their individual strengths. What if I started trying to be intentional about looking at other's strenghts instead of their faults, or "the thing that drives me crazy about them"? Focusing on the "gifts" that God gave them. My prayer today is that God would give me eyes to see the strengths in others instead of their faults.
I am always so thankful when God uses my kids to teach me life lessons!
We were amazed by the facilities they have for little league....even T-ball. They have complete complexes for each league....t-ball, Jr baseball, Cal Ripken, and girl's softball. Then I think it is Legion...(not too sure about all the leagues yet) Each complex is complete with four fields equipped with score boards, bleachers, dugouts and indoor bathrooms (with running water!) A full concession stand and a press box! We had never seen anything like it for "Little League"!
Josh's first season, he was 7 and played coach pitch. The beginning of the season Jason and I just kind of sat back and watched all the other parents in amazement. It was pretty competitive for 7 year olds. We called our family back home and said "you would not believe this...they keep track of the score, outs, even have a list of official "coach pitch rules"! There is tournaments with brackets and everything!" I vowed not to be a "crazy" baseball parent.
By the end of the season, we (Josh's team) were down to the last 2 games of the tournament to win the City Championship for Coach Pitch. Josh made a huge catch in the outfield for a critical 3rd out!!! I am now a "crazy" baseball parent!!! And LOVE it!!
Last year he was our church sponsored team and his coach was a church member. They invited families from the church to come and watch the games. I always hoped that many didn't come because I didn't want them to see me at the games. I couldn't sit still and definitely was not quiet!!
This year Josh moved up to Kid Pitch and last night was his first practice on his new team. Last year he had several friends on his team. This year he really doesn't know too many of his team mates.
Last night Josh was in the shower, I was in the bathroom picking up the other kids clothes off the floor and he started sharing with me about practice. He said, "mom, do you think I am good at baseball?" I said, "yes, Daddy says you are really improving on throwing to the infield." Then he says, "Mom there are kids on the team that are REALLY good at baseball." I told him that God made each of us differently but we all have strengths, for some people sports are their strength, for others it may be reading. I told him that it was OK not to be the "best" at everything and he was good at things too. I told him that one of his strengths was people...He is very good at relationships and caring for others, reading others emotions and interacting. He has very good social skills.
He started thinking about that and carried it a step further....he began to look at all those around him and name their strengths. He said, "like this kid in my class, he is great with computers, and Sam and Ian are good at Yugioh cards, and London is good at being funny and making people laugh..."
I began to really think about what Josh started doing. Instead of comparing himself to those around him, he began to see them for their individual strengths. What if I started trying to be intentional about looking at other's strenghts instead of their faults, or "the thing that drives me crazy about them"? Focusing on the "gifts" that God gave them. My prayer today is that God would give me eyes to see the strengths in others instead of their faults.
I am always so thankful when God uses my kids to teach me life lessons!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Where is your Focus???
I am not gonna let broken appliances steal my joy!!! OK you may think well duh!! I am not exaggerating when I say that EVERY appliance in my house has broken in the last 12 months.
First it was the dishwasher. I really can't remember what was wrong with it. Just that it quit. We had purchased a portable dishwasher before we moved here so, we just converted it to a permanent. Then, this summer while we were on vacation to Florida our air conditioner compressor quit....yeah that was a fun 20 hr trip home with NO a/c....
Then just a couple of days after we were home from vacation we noticed our central air conditioning was not keeping up with the temp. It was set on 70 but running 75 in the house. One hundred and sixty dollars and a day later we realized the attic fan was on sucking all the cool air out! It was about that time we noticed our less than 5 year old refrigerator didn't seem to be cooling right. I about lost it!
Every time something breaks all I see is $$$$ (dollar signs)! My husband is a great father and good at many things....but, a handy man he is not! So, every broken appliance means a call to the handyman with is NEVER cheap!! (I know, I have friends who's husbands try to fix everything and they wished their husbands would call the repairman....we are never happy!) I seriously laid hands on my fridge and prayed for it....it lasted a couple of additional months. The repairman told us it would cost more to fix the fridge than buy a new one.
In February, the day before I left for Women of Faith All Access in Nashville I noticed the less than two year old dryer was not heating! Luckily we did purchase the extended warranty. Although I think they warranty people think that you will give up and just pay someone to fix it......two weeks and several trips to the laundry mat (made by my husband) our dryer had a brand new heating element!
A couple of weeks ago I had put a roast in the oven for dinner one Thursday afternoon. I was getting ready to leave for Bible study, I got the roast out of the oven and Jason says, "that doesn't look done." Impossible! It has been in the oven for 3 hrs! Sure enough the baking element went out. I had to bake Jake's birthday cake at a friends house.
Each time one of these things break I start to get a knot in my stomach and begin to worry how we will fix it and how will we pay for it. Each time God has provided......
I have really been struggling this week emotionally and spiritually. For many reasons (not the appliances). Some I cannot post about and some related to my boys and their struggles at school. In Bible study Thursday night we were talking about fear and how "Do Not Fear" is the command given the most times in scripture. I said to the ladies, "We need to keep our focus vertical, not horizontal. Our focus on God and not on all the things going on around us...." DOINK! I felt like God thumped me in the head and said, "UH HUH!" I just looked at the ladies and said, "It is easy for me to say and so hard for me to do sometimes. I have really failed at this this week." I got a fresh perspective. It is like when the disciples were in the boat on the lake in Matthew 14. They were afraid of the storm going on around them. Jesus was walking on the water, and Peter step out by faith and walked on the water too. In spite of the storm that was still going on around him. When he focused on Jesus he was able to walk on the water. When Peter took his focus off of God he began to sink.
That is what I do spiritually. I start to focus on all the storms around me (some BIG and some small) and not on God and have faith that He has it all under control. Jesus said to Peter, "You of little faith. Why do you doubt me?" Matthew 14:31.The very definition of faith is focusing on what is unseen and not on what is seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
So, after having this fresh perspective and a new focus....on Saturday as I am rockin out to Natalie Grant's Love Revolution CD and sweeping my kitchen floor, my washer starts beeping at me and giving me a warning that says "nd" which means not draining.....and then as I am tucking Emma in last night she says, "my TV won't work" on investigation neither will her light and the plug-in in her room is shot. So, as I start to get nervous about how in the world we will afford an electrician and how can I go without a washer. I remember. Focus! God is in control! Satan is trying his best to steal my focus.....Broken appliances are NOT going to steal my joy!!!
First it was the dishwasher. I really can't remember what was wrong with it. Just that it quit. We had purchased a portable dishwasher before we moved here so, we just converted it to a permanent. Then, this summer while we were on vacation to Florida our air conditioner compressor quit....yeah that was a fun 20 hr trip home with NO a/c....
Then just a couple of days after we were home from vacation we noticed our central air conditioning was not keeping up with the temp. It was set on 70 but running 75 in the house. One hundred and sixty dollars and a day later we realized the attic fan was on sucking all the cool air out! It was about that time we noticed our less than 5 year old refrigerator didn't seem to be cooling right. I about lost it!
Every time something breaks all I see is $$$$ (dollar signs)! My husband is a great father and good at many things....but, a handy man he is not! So, every broken appliance means a call to the handyman with is NEVER cheap!! (I know, I have friends who's husbands try to fix everything and they wished their husbands would call the repairman....we are never happy!) I seriously laid hands on my fridge and prayed for it....it lasted a couple of additional months. The repairman told us it would cost more to fix the fridge than buy a new one.
In February, the day before I left for Women of Faith All Access in Nashville I noticed the less than two year old dryer was not heating! Luckily we did purchase the extended warranty. Although I think they warranty people think that you will give up and just pay someone to fix it......two weeks and several trips to the laundry mat (made by my husband) our dryer had a brand new heating element!
A couple of weeks ago I had put a roast in the oven for dinner one Thursday afternoon. I was getting ready to leave for Bible study, I got the roast out of the oven and Jason says, "that doesn't look done." Impossible! It has been in the oven for 3 hrs! Sure enough the baking element went out. I had to bake Jake's birthday cake at a friends house.
Each time one of these things break I start to get a knot in my stomach and begin to worry how we will fix it and how will we pay for it. Each time God has provided......
I have really been struggling this week emotionally and spiritually. For many reasons (not the appliances). Some I cannot post about and some related to my boys and their struggles at school. In Bible study Thursday night we were talking about fear and how "Do Not Fear" is the command given the most times in scripture. I said to the ladies, "We need to keep our focus vertical, not horizontal. Our focus on God and not on all the things going on around us...." DOINK! I felt like God thumped me in the head and said, "UH HUH!" I just looked at the ladies and said, "It is easy for me to say and so hard for me to do sometimes. I have really failed at this this week." I got a fresh perspective. It is like when the disciples were in the boat on the lake in Matthew 14. They were afraid of the storm going on around them. Jesus was walking on the water, and Peter step out by faith and walked on the water too. In spite of the storm that was still going on around him. When he focused on Jesus he was able to walk on the water. When Peter took his focus off of God he began to sink.
That is what I do spiritually. I start to focus on all the storms around me (some BIG and some small) and not on God and have faith that He has it all under control. Jesus said to Peter, "You of little faith. Why do you doubt me?" Matthew 14:31.The very definition of faith is focusing on what is unseen and not on what is seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
So, after having this fresh perspective and a new focus....on Saturday as I am rockin out to Natalie Grant's Love Revolution CD and sweeping my kitchen floor, my washer starts beeping at me and giving me a warning that says "nd" which means not draining.....and then as I am tucking Emma in last night she says, "my TV won't work" on investigation neither will her light and the plug-in in her room is shot. So, as I start to get nervous about how in the world we will afford an electrician and how can I go without a washer. I remember. Focus! God is in control! Satan is trying his best to steal my focus.....Broken appliances are NOT going to steal my joy!!!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Change in agenda.....
Jason is out of town this weekend with the youth group. So, I have been planning all week for his absence. Thinking of all the things I want to accomplish in my home......
For starters the kids' rooms! You cannot even see 50 - 75% of the floor upstairs. Last weekend the boys got out the old Geo Tracks trains and built a very large train track sprawling the length of the hallway. In their room is a variety of army men, Lego's, matchbox cars, Lincoln logs, and action figures ALL over their floor. (Word to the wise....do not enter bare foot in the dark!) Emma built a "tent" that is taking up a third of her room, and inside the "tent" is a variety of dress up clothes, stuffed animals, zhu zhu pets and baby dolls.
Then, the floors.....most of our floors are hardwood or laminent. Do you know how BIG dust bunnies get on hardwood floors. I swear it is like they multiply as fast as real bunnies! Not to mention laundry and scrubbing my kitchen and bathroom!
You know the commercial that says, "you're the kind of person that squeezes every second out of every minute out of every day...." That is me! So, I woke up this morning with my agenda on my mind. By the time I got up and got Jason and the kids out the door, I was already behind schedule! This was gonna throw a wrench in my entire weekend and all that I wanted to accomplish.
Then, I remembered when I was at Hearts at Home ( a conference for moms) a couple of weeks ago Jill Salvage spoke about rest and refueling your tank when you are at half a tank. Instead of waiting until you are on empty and have to be rescued. I knew that is where I was headed this weekend. She also talked about having a schedule so full that your husband and kids get in your way. Ouch! Guilty!
I realized that my priorities were out of place. A clean house is great, but at what cost? I then began to think about my kids and how much they LOVE to spend quality time together. I thought about when they grow up and the things they will remember....or what do I want them to remember. That their mother was obsessed with having a well kept house (which is not possible with 4 kids, 2 dogs a cat and a job) or the time we spent together playing games, reading a book, painting with watercolors, or just snuggling up to watch tv.
Rest is a gift from God. He intended for us to rest. He led by example. When He created the earth He rested on the 7 day. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you REST." I was weary and burdened this weekend to maintain unrealistically high standards I have placed on my self. I want to accept God's gift of rest and make memories with my kids.
The new agenda.....spend a little time tomorrow morning picking up the kids rooms and sweeping the floors. Then, the rest of my weekend belongs to my kids!
For starters the kids' rooms! You cannot even see 50 - 75% of the floor upstairs. Last weekend the boys got out the old Geo Tracks trains and built a very large train track sprawling the length of the hallway. In their room is a variety of army men, Lego's, matchbox cars, Lincoln logs, and action figures ALL over their floor. (Word to the wise....do not enter bare foot in the dark!) Emma built a "tent" that is taking up a third of her room, and inside the "tent" is a variety of dress up clothes, stuffed animals, zhu zhu pets and baby dolls.
Then, the floors.....most of our floors are hardwood or laminent. Do you know how BIG dust bunnies get on hardwood floors. I swear it is like they multiply as fast as real bunnies! Not to mention laundry and scrubbing my kitchen and bathroom!
You know the commercial that says, "you're the kind of person that squeezes every second out of every minute out of every day...." That is me! So, I woke up this morning with my agenda on my mind. By the time I got up and got Jason and the kids out the door, I was already behind schedule! This was gonna throw a wrench in my entire weekend and all that I wanted to accomplish.
Then, I remembered when I was at Hearts at Home ( a conference for moms) a couple of weeks ago Jill Salvage spoke about rest and refueling your tank when you are at half a tank. Instead of waiting until you are on empty and have to be rescued. I knew that is where I was headed this weekend. She also talked about having a schedule so full that your husband and kids get in your way. Ouch! Guilty!
I realized that my priorities were out of place. A clean house is great, but at what cost? I then began to think about my kids and how much they LOVE to spend quality time together. I thought about when they grow up and the things they will remember....or what do I want them to remember. That their mother was obsessed with having a well kept house (which is not possible with 4 kids, 2 dogs a cat and a job) or the time we spent together playing games, reading a book, painting with watercolors, or just snuggling up to watch tv.
Rest is a gift from God. He intended for us to rest. He led by example. When He created the earth He rested on the 7 day. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you REST." I was weary and burdened this weekend to maintain unrealistically high standards I have placed on my self. I want to accept God's gift of rest and make memories with my kids.
The new agenda.....spend a little time tomorrow morning picking up the kids rooms and sweeping the floors. Then, the rest of my weekend belongs to my kids!
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